I think when people talk of terrible two's they are just trying to sum up just one of the many "phases" kids go through. We have hit a new one and like most it is getting at me and making me feel CRAZY. I love Layla and at times think that no little kid could be so sweet. Everyone that watches her loves her because she is a little mom. She is quiet and shy just like me but really cares about others.
Now this wonderful child has a dark side just like all kids. A side that reminds me why they teach us to have patience and find the moments in life that make this job the greatest job in the world. Every age has come with a phase and four almost five is a crazy one.
Layla feels like, no feels isn't right, Layla has somehow become the boss. I am tired, I am stressed, and all I want is happy children. So when the girls cry because I gave the wrong color cup to them I switch. When I forgot to let them go first then I let each of them take a turn being first even if it takes us ten minutes to walk through a doorway because it keeps the fighting at bay. Somehow in all my attempts to make things run smooth I have given Layla the false impression that she is in charge. So we are attempting to correct this mistake. Attempting in the key word because it is going to take time a patience that i am not sure I have. But it must be done just like the mountain of laundry so like every mother I buckle down for the day and do what i have to do and hope to find at least one sweet moment in the mix of yelling, crying, running, and snottiness.
After a couple days of attempting to teach Layla that when she takes a nap she does not get to watch a movie and take "a rest" today was a magical day. She napped. Not only did she nap but she woke up happy. Now I am still anticipating the fight at night where just as you are shutting the door she comes up with something i forgot to do. It doesn't matter that it takes an hour and half to get the kids in bed because there is always something i have done to make bedtime fun in the last four years that she will remember and make me feel bad I forgot to do tonight. But like Dorothy who had the power in herself to make it where she really wanted to be i have the power to make this behavior of telling mom what to do pass if I just remember and tell myself it is just a phase. I have gotten to almost five and we are both still live and managed to learn to love each other more than I thought possible so like most things, this too shall pass!
I understand this completely understand you. Sometimes it doesn't seem like that big a deal to just let them have their way. Or the guilt thing. Ah yes, sometimes when Adi gets out of bed for the 5th time and says, "but I just wanted to say I love you, mom," I don't want to spank her like I told her I would do the last time she got out of bed. Some of this mommy stuff comes naturally, but a lot of it is really hard to figure out. I just hope I am doing somewhat close to the right thing and not screwing them up too badly.
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