What doesn't kill you makes you stronger...???

Seriously who thought that is a good motivating statement. Truthfully it always makes me think, "this time it's it, I'm done for" and wanna quit. For me I have found the whole count to ten much more helpful, then I merely need to survive a few seconds. But to be serious we all have those days. Sometimes there are sound reasons and sometimes it is just impossible to figure out. Either way I have that constant voice in my head reminding me to "breath". Lately things have been good and yet drama filled. It is like the kids can feel change coming on and must protest by driving you mental.

Having girls is fun and crazy and not always in that order. But I am glad they are my life. I often think of what I, just me not a reflection on my thought of others here just fyi, What I would be like if I hadn't of had the girls quick after getting married. And I have learned that I needed them much more than they needed me. I grew up because I no longer could think of myself. I learned to live without and not want more.

Some of you know what my life growing up was like. Trust me I had trials that no one would image but really materialy speaking I wanted for nothing. I had a new dress for every stake dance and got at least twenty or more outfits for school each semester. And I grew to love shoes. And at sixteen I got a car and seventeen I got a nicer newer one.

Getting married and having kids right away while going to school taught us to put others first. I love to shop don't get me wrong but I don't miss having the money to make it a hobby. I love living simply. Plus I am judged more (not always) on who I am not what I have. Growing up with money simply meant to others that i had no problems. Seriously people you think money solves everything, YOU ARE NUTS!!! All people have trials. And each of us must own ours. We cannot wish to trade lives. The grass isn't greener on the other side the blinding sun just makes ours look brown when it isn't.

I know I have a loving Heavenly Father who has planned out a good path for me to learn and grow from. I am getting good at seeing that and better yet appreciating it. And I am glad I made it to my eternal family. They aren't perfect and may drive me nuts, and I mean both my little family and mine with my parents and siblings. I love them all dearly and the more I grow up the more I get how hard it must be for our Father in Heaven to watch us letting us learn for ourselves. It would be much easier and less heart wrenching to simply fix things for us or make them easier. But thankfully he doesn't. He lets me learn MY WAY and you learn YOURS!!! Aren't you glad you don't have to live a life as someone else would. That is like having to fold your laundry the way the 80 year old woman down the street does.... not going to work for me!

I know that life gets rough and sometimes it is only for an hour or so but that is enough to make you want to pull your hair out. Trust me three girls screaming at me today for 20 minutes almost did me in. But I survived another day, and I made it because I prayed. I counted to ten and took a deep breath praying to help me figure this one little hour out. And he guided me through.

Last months visiting teaching message is totally going to be my next deep thought post.... For those you haven't read it, go read it, it is amazing! Anyways deep thought done for the day. If you have a day like me where the grass sure looks brown take some advice....

1. breath
2. pray
3. count to ten
4. breath some more
5. and then go tackle just a few more minutes at a time!