Just like me

You ever find that person that when you look at them you think to yourself wow that is me. Well that it Layla. She is everything I am and everything I wish I wasn't. I think that is why she can make me feel like I am going insane. Her heart is on her sleeve and she feels life so intensely. But with that means that she also lets the world in and cares more than you ever see others do. Ah little Layla sure isn't little anymore.

When she is happy she is happy, and when she is upset the whole world is coming to an end. SHE IS SUCH A GIRL if there ever was on. She do desperately wants to be a grown up but thankfully is still so innocent. She thinks that life really should be as simple as they are in her books. She wants everyone and everything to be perfect and simply doesn't understand why they can't. We were talking the other day after church about the priesthood. And when I informed her that not all the men in our family hold the priesthood she was completely and utterly shocked. I had to explain that some people don't go to church, once again this came as a world changing revelation. Her response was "don't they know it is true Mom? It isn't hard to know." I smiled and thought yes Layla I know. It isn't hard to know. The only thing that stands in our way is ourselves. And how simple it seems to children to just BE HAPPY.

She is so smart and thinks more than we usually giver her credit for. I had one of those proud mama moments a few weeks ago. See we hold family scripture study and family prayer faithfully every single night. But you know how it is you never actually know if there is anything sinking in to those little minds. Well after primary before I headed to get the girls from class one of the primary presidency members stopped me. She wanted to tell me something about Layla. That is kind of one of those moments when your heart stops like "oh no what did they do." In a nut shell she said this.

Layla was so excited to answer the questions in sharing time today. When asked about the building blocks of the church she shared all she knew. She explained about ordinances, the priesthood, the book of Mormon, faith, prayer, and so many more. If no one was answering the question she would either raise her hand or shout out the answer because she was so excited to know the truth.

I think I stopped breathing for a minute. Like are you kidding my Layla, she really knew and explained what an ordinance is in front of people???? Something I am doing is working and sinking into that drama filled head of hers. And I guess this is what parenthood is. It is working hard everyday not knowing the success but never giving up. With Layla I know how she feels without having to try. But the truth is that the only reason she drives me crazy is because she is my little me. I think my heart is much too big. I love so much but when I open up I can get hurt by the slightest thing. Anyone who knows Layla knows that is her to a tee. Gosh darn it if she wasn't sent here to teach me rather than I teach her. It is funny but when I think of Layla I most perfectly can understand my father in heaven.

I see her want to do things on her own so much but she is so little and innocent. I don't want to let go. The fact that she is leaving for kindergarten in a few months is something I just can't think about. I worry for her so much. I don't want anything to tarnish her perfect view of the world. She is just the picture of perfect innocence. And that is why I love her so much. She is my little window into heaven, where everything is as simple as it should be.