Time....

I never quite know where it goes and how to find more. I have about 30 seconds before I must turn over the next load of laundry, hop into the shower, get dressed, feed children, get them dressed, and begin shuttling kids around for the day. THANKFULLY today is the least busy day of my week and I can take a deep breath. I wonder all the time how I managed without a car... then it occurred to me I never could leave so I didn't have to. Now all I do is run around. Plus in Rexburg you don't need a car too much. Brian had a bike and I had a car the last year and that was great. When we moved here no one was in school, we HAD a set schedule and frankly no friends so it was easy to plan our days. Now I think I have too much to do and too little time to do it in. The babysitting here keeps us really busy. Now I have added my little niece into the mix which makes things all the more interesting. And Layla and school well I had no idea the busyness. Oh well I am not bored so that is good right. Aside from sobbing moments where I feel completely inadequate as a mother I am doing well. But I think that is where blogging keeps me sane. I am not the only mother who feels like life is on fast forward and she can't manage to find pause. And I am also not the only one feeling like everyone else is on another chapter that we just can't quite get to yet.

I am a grad/med student's wife which means long nights and lonely days. I am a PTO mom which means meetings and parties galore. I am a soccer mom per say... we don't do soccer but dance and it all keeps you busy! I am a primary teacher and I feel like I am just so close to getting through to them and then just so far away from where I want to be all at the same time. And somedays I am cool and others old. I am a mother of girls which means drama drama drama. I am a nanny which makes me happy and crazy at once. You care for children that are not yours that you send home. And that sums it up. You care for meaning tend to their needs. And it means care for which means you love those little mushy things, and then send them home. It makes you crazy cause you work so hard and they aren't yours to claim when they succeed. And it makes you happy because you don't have to do the midnight feeding and make all the hard decisions for them.

Basically I am busy and I feel like life is going much faster than I can keep up with. And there are a million things I want and can't have or at least not yet. And I find myself feeling like a failure on a daily basis. But then you find your children playing together happy for four hours straight no fighting but actual laughter and you think to yourself...   "I must have done something right along the way" and you keep going!

Can I just say I LOVE these comics. From now on they are the picture for my moments I need to vent. I don't take photos of myself but these definitely do the trick!