Surgery Story and our preliminary results

Thursday night we took our little girls over to Nana and Papa's house to spend the night and to get our little man a blessing before the big day. We got home late, especially for a little guy that goes to bed by nine every night. We were home after 11 and still had to feed him and give him a great bath. So about midnight we get him all settled in his crib and sit down to relax. Of course normal people at this point would go to bed but who can sleep when you are taking your two month old into get surgery in the morning, only crazy people I think.

We sat and talked a bit about our "what if" list and made our basic decisions so we were prepared. This might seem a bit preimptive but truth be told I knew I would not be able to breath when they came to tell us the results so I needed to prepare while I could think clearly. And after meeting with the surgeon on Wednesday we didn't have a lot of hope that things would be normal.

Now that all is said and done I can actually talk about our visit and what we were facing. Brian (as every med student might be expected) researched what kind of things we would find when we went into surgery. There were about half benign and half malignant choices. We were pretty hopeful at that point. When we went into the office we realized that the growth was not attached to his testicle but seperate. This means in technical terms it was a paratesticular mass.

The doctor at first examination said it is possible it is Rhabdo. For those medically challenged like me that is Rhabdomyosarcoma. It is the most common malignant tumor for that area and situation.  We found out that these tumors occur in boys aged 3-4 months and in teenagers. These tumors are highly aggressive and spread fast in 20% of patients at the time of diagnosis. This is probably why the email went out to our family to keep little Damon in everyone's prayers. After 20 minutes tops with the doctor I think we heard him mention this being a possibility over a dozen times and all others he pretty much shot down for one reason or another after first mention. He even said that since we are having the surgery friday we will hold off on sending us to oncology just yet.

When you sit down and hear these things your heart kind of stops. So we filled out our surgery release forms and approval for a radical orchiectomy if necessary. (that is complete removal of the testicle). We realized the chances for cancer were really strong and if so he most likely would need chemo. The nurses were very kind and told us to enjoy the next couple of days and try not to worry.

Brian left the doctors office to study for his first year medical school final. He requested to take it early. And while having the weight of surgery and the possibly of cancer for our young son on his shoulders he finished off the year.

Friday morning I woke little damon up at 2:45am to feed him his last meal before surgery. He was adorable as usual and sat smiling and holding my finger while he nursed. I hated nursing with the girls and only worked through it because they were so in need from being premature. With Damon it is everything I heard it would be, special time for just the two of us to bond. I tucked him into bed by 3 and settled in for a couple hours more of sleep.

We headed out for Downtown at 6:30am and were on our way to our big adventure. Thankfully keeping Damon up late worked great because he slept until we arrived at the hospital and checked him into the surgery center. We got back to our pre-op room quickly and got him all dressed in his gown. Oh how cute can a baby be in a hospital gown. He flashed his smile at all the nurses and won them all over. You could hear them talking about him around the corner and they slowly filed in to check him out. It made me so happy to know everyone saw the wonderful baby he is before he hates the world for what we are putting him through.

One of the doctors we know from church is a well respected anethesiologist at children's mercy and was happy to be there for our little guy. That put us at ease and helped the morning go a bit smoother. Of course we had our hick ups such as the surgery being pushed back a bit over an hour. This was scarey when we have only minutes before damon caught on that I wasn't going to feed him. But he was our little sunshine as he smiled and laughed all the way up until we passed him off.

I have to say I knew it would be the worst moment and it didn't disappoint. I was so strong, brave, hopeful, and prayer up until that moment when he left my arms and I had to walk away. My heart ached and I just couldn't hold back the tears. Brian was just about to cry when he saw that look on my face and stayed perfectly brave and strong for me and comforted me in his arms. I have to say I couldn't have faced any of this without him.

So off to the waiting room we went. We sat and talked. He hit refresh a million times on his email as he watched for his final grade to come in and I played my digging game on my kindle. Anything we could do to forget where we were for a few minutes. And then it came, "Damon's Parents!" We quickly went up to the desk and were shown to the conference room to wait for our doctor. I think my heart literly stopped. I couldn't breath. All the anxiety of the past couple weeks just sat there in my throat as we waited. Our doctor came in and gave us our news.

The preliminary pathology results showed that the mass did not appear to be malignant. It showed that is post likely is an accessory spleen. Yep an extra spleen. This was not something our doctor seemed to ever see or think possible, but there it was. He showed us photos on his cell phone and explained that he was even able to spare his testicle. These were all things non of us in the room thought was going to happen. I think the weight over came me and I was in total shock. My sweet baby is going to be okay and he is yet again just another miracle in my life.

We waited for our turn to go up to reunion avenue and see our sweet baby. When they brough him to us and I had him in my arms again all was right in the world. We went back to the post op room and I took at most 45 seconds to sit down and begin nursing my baby. He snuggled up tight and ate like a champ as if he hadn't just undergone surgery and had a breathing tube in. We waited about a half hour to get post op instructions, his first dose of pain meds, and changed to go home and then off we went.

I never felt more exhausted in my life but I couldn't let him out of my arms for a minute. We are now home and better rested after a good night's sleep. He is still as perfect and happy as ever just a bit sleepy. We should hear the final path results on Tuesday which is a relief.

I know that our baby is the result of a miracle. He isn't just special he literally is one in a million. There are so few cases like his that it wasn't even a preliminary diagnosis. I am so thankful for the many friends and family and prayed with us for our little child. I know God heard our pleas and rewarded us all for our great faith. I hope that whenever you to face a trial great or small you remember that God knows you personally. He knows your heart. He can't always take away our struggles but like he did for us, he strengthens us through them. Damon has already begun his work to be a little missionary teaching the world about the love of God where ever he goes. He will always be example to me and I am thankful for him every second of the day. He truly makes my life complete and I love him more than I could ever adequately show. Thank you all for your support and love and may the Lord bless you as he truly has us.